A new direction

So I got my notes back from Scott Mullen this week and his comments were dead on, as always. The notes were mostly in alignment with the notes I got from Hollywood Lit Sales on the treatment, but which I refused to acknowledge.

The Biggest criticism was the inconsistency of tone. Wonderland is a family movie, of course. It features three pretten protagonists, takes place in an amusement park and has a healthy mixture of comedy, pathos and action.

The problem is that it's also got a fair dose of darkness. I've got to admit, I love a dark comedy and I still think a little grimness can be a good thing, even in a kid's film like Stand By Me (or is that Rob Reiner-directed film really meant for adults? Debate.)

But I may have gone too dark. The villains consist of a bird-like scientist named Dr. Mobius and his giant bear-like henchman Tweedle. Scott said it seems like they came from an entirely different movie, contrasting sharply with the realism of the first act.

And the scheme that they're trying to accomplish is to use their hideout beneath the fun house to manufacture crystal meth, using the stuffed White Rabbits that are given away as prizes to smuggle them out.

Seems no one likes this idea. I do think it would make a fascinating film. After all, some of the best kid's films are dark. And today's kids have to deal with a lot more serious issues than anyone may age ever had to. But yeah, it's going to be a tough sell in Hollywood and is so dark it may scare off most of the audience I'm aiming for.

So I've got to come up with an entirely different scheme. Maybe something with diamond smuggling. Or nuclear waste. Or...

I'm also going to make the villains more realistic, as that's the tone I most want to get across, despite some of the fantastic elements that pop later in the kdis' assualt on the Funhouse.

Looks like it's back to the drawing board for now.

The good news? I got major points for coming up with intriguing, likable protags (that likable bit is a first for me) and putting together some great action set pieces.